I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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