I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I looked at my own cervix.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
