Soap is not a condiment
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
