high people should be assigned attendants
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
