Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
