i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
