I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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