I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
