Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
