I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
