if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
