i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
