Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize