Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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