I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
