And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
