Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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