The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My orgasm happened in two different decades
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
