You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
