Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
