How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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