Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Panties = found
Randomize
