This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
