State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
