i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
