Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
