So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
