i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
