dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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