wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
