margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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