Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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