found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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