Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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