Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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