i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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