i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Randomize
