3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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