Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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