this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
