We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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