i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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