I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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