Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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