I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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