Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
