I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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