I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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