i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
