i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
