He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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